$3.50

I had to get gas today before going to work. I stopped at Loves, our local truck stop, and as I pulled up to the pumps, I couldn't remember what side of the car my gas tank was on. (I have my old car back!!! But that's another post) I figured I'd chance the driver's side and hope for the best. So, leaving my car running, I opened the door and peered out. My radio was still on and I'm sure other motorists could hear KLove playing songs about Jesus. I was right, the gas tank is on that side, and so I turned the car off and walked toward the store. I noticed a white truck sitting at the pump next to mine with a girl about 25 standing next to it. When I came out of the store, this girl approached me and asked me for gas money. She said that she was trying to get home. Here begins the dilemma. I knew that I only had a 10 dollar bill that needed to pay for my dinner... But I also knew that she had likely heard my music and I wanted to be a good example of Jesus here on earth. So, I told her that I didn't have anything... But I was still praying about it. I told God, "If I have any other money in my work bag, I'll give it to her." Digging around, I found $3.50. So, true to my word, I walked over and gave it to her. I explained that I found it in the bottom of my bag and apologized for it not being much. After I left, I didn't feel good about my situation. I was actually stressed because I had given her money. I didn't really believe her story about needing money for gas and I know that our family is really tight on money right now... So I began to pray about it. I felt like I had chosen to give instead of being led to give... And then God reminded me that I can't out-give Him. And then a song came on the radio, "There Will Be a Day". The premise of the song is that one day, there will be no more tears, no fear and no more dealing with the stresses of this life. God made it clear to me that I was doing the right thing and that there will come a day that I won't have to freak out about giving $3.50 to a girl at the gas station. I was gratefully crying listening to the song and feeling peaceful... Regardless of whether Lowell and I ever have a ton of money, or even if we live the rest of our lives just scraping by, God is with us. And He's meeting our needs. And I can be thankful that He is transforming me so that I care more about what someone thinks of "Christians" and of being a representative for Him than I do of what little money I have. Even if her intentions were not pure, I pray that my gift showed her that Christians are generous and if she really was stranded, I hope tonight finds her safely at home.

Only 1 Mouth

It's been so long since I've blogged, I feel like I'm too far behind to catch up... And yet, I'm not exactly what I've done during the past two weeks... :) I'm still going to school and work... And I'm a little overwhelmed. Taking two classes and working full time is a lot of work. Lowell and I discussed it, and he suggested that I finish out this quarter and then next quarter, I only take one class. Unfortunately because of how the school calendar is set up, once I'm signed up for classes, I have to take them or pay for them anyway... So it looks like I'll be doubling up next quarter too. Work is getting easier simply because I've been there about 5 weeks now and I'm getting more and more familiar with my job. Tonight was interesting because it was brought to my attention that someone at work thinks I'm "prickly". I would never, never think to use that term when describing myself. That being said, it is important, I'm learning to examine my behavior and to try to avoid becoming defensive. This is very, very difficult but I know that God's working on teaching me a lesson.
Another lesson that seems to keep presenting itself is learning that I have two ears and one mouth for a reason. :) I really need to practice closing my mouth more. Not because I am saying something that is wrong or hurtful or even inappropriate but because I need to learn to be okay with silence, number one and number two, that I need to practice being a better listener. I was listening to myself tonight and I realized that a lot of the jokes that I make at work are sarcastic and that, maybe, someone didn't understand my intentions. So, I'm going to work on being more attuned to what is coming out of my mouth as well as attempting to limit the amount of talking I do... We'll see how it works! :)

Waiting

There have been some interesting moments in our lives lately... In this season, God is really teaching Lowell and I that He will provide. We aren't always comfortable and we aren't always spoiled, but our needs are always met. There are those days (and even weeks sometimes) when we have everything we could possibly need or want... And then there are days when we need. We really need. And those times can be scary. It is in those moments that I am reminded that all of this is His. Nothing that I have or that I take care of is really mine; I am only meant to be a steward of the gifts I've been given. In addition to this reminder, I believe that God is really stretching Lowell and I in our understanding of what it really means to rely solely on Him; to be destitute except for the goodness and grace of God. Today, we're not destitute, but we are without a second car. Mine is currently on the off ramp to Verrado slightly on fire. Or at least smoldering. It overheated today and it will need to go to the junk yard. That being said, I know that God will provide something else. It is just a scary time because I don't know what He'll provide and I certainly don't know how! So, we are in a waiting period for the next 16 hours or so... And that can be the toughest time of a crisis - the waiting... The wondering and the stressing about if God really will take care of us. "Are you sure He's going to meet our needs? I don't see how He possibly could..." And then, in the future, maybe tomorrow and maybe months down the road, we'll look back on these days and see His hand and see His mercy guiding us through these times. Because He doesn't leave us destitute. And He does meet our needs according to His riches. (And I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure His riches aren't running low like our economy here in the US.) So, tonight we'll wait and we'll work on resting in His peace and remembering that we have His promises to stand on. And tomorrow or sometime in the near future, I'll share with you just how He worked and how He met our needs. Because He will. He always does.

I Hope

On the hiking trip I mentioned below, I took this picture... Looking up at the hill with the sun shining behind this lone cactus, for some reason I was reminded of the cross of Christ standing on the hill. There were three crosses on the hill where our Savior died, but this still seemed reminiscent of that scene. The desert was peaceful - completely quiet and serene. It was just a moment of silent gratitude and remembrance... The price paid was higher than we can ever imagine and the reason is just as incomprehensible. And yet, the story is true. God the Son came down and died a terrible death... All because He loves us. Hard to believe and yet life changing and beautiful. I hope the truth of His sacrifice has changed your life and brought the same peace I experienced that evening into your heart tonight.

Our lives lately

I did something tonight that I haven't done in a while... I laughed until I cried. Why, you ask? Well, it had something to do with beavers, apples and deer poop. Well, mainly it was because of my husband. He's so stinkin' funny. :) There are times when he drives me crazy and times when he makes me weak in the knees... But, when he tries, he can always make me smile. After our laugh fest, I drove to Circle K and got us some ice cream and we sat in the back of the truck in our driveway enjoying the beautiful evening. We talked about pretty much nothing and enjoyed ourselves. These are special days, when I get to spend time with those I love most and take the time to realize how lucky I am!

I've wanted to blog now for awhile but it didn't seem like there was anything big happening.. Anything that was worth sharing with everyone... I also haven't uploaded my photos for quite some time, and now that I've done that, I've been reminded just how much we've been up to.

For example, we found a place nearby where we can go hiking. It is pretty secluded and there is a ton of area to explore. We walked around, looking at footprints and plants and keeping our eyes open for wildlife. We didn't see anything other than a lizard or two even though we brought our binoculars along for the trip. Next time, we're going to go after the monsoon because in the desert with water, of course, comes life.
Nathan had his walking stick and his flashlight that he wears on his head... Silly little one! :) Jillie didn't like walking, she was much more content riding on Daddy's shoulders and viewing life from above. That is unless she had the binoculars... She didn't quite grasp the concept and instead enjoyed using them for a different purpose...

We also decided to send the kids to the charter school after all. It was a very tough decision but, in the end, we made the switch. This was their first week at Odyssey and they are doing well. Nathan's teacher is very strict and I don't know how he's going to do with it... He was doing really well, behaviorally in his class at Bales but now he's been in trouble two days in a row for talking too much in class. I wonder if he simply reacts better to a more lax teaching style. On the other hand, his first grade teacher wasn't strict by any means and he was very talkative there as well. He says that he has made friends at Odyssey and that is why he's talking. I guess its a blessing and a curse. :) Now he just needs to learn the self-control involved with sitting next to friends.

Chloe loves school. She's easy to please and very flexible. We went to the open house held at Odyssesy when we were trying to make our decision and when we first walked into her potential classroom, she walked right up to her teacher and hugged her. Tomorrow she has to take a little lunch bag to school that holds 4 things about her and present it to the class. Tonight as she was choosing the four things she wanted for her bag, she said that she wanted to include her teacher's name because she loves her teacher. :) Isn't that sweet?? :) I'm completely satisfied about Chloe's situation at Odyssey... It is Nathan that I'm worried about. I'm sure it will all come together in time.

Also on the Chloe front, she finally, thanks to Mamoo, got a bicycle of her own! She picked out a green and orange bike. Technically, I suppose its a boys bike, but she likes it. And then she got a very girly purple helmet to go with it. :) And she's been riding it without training wheels. Lowell is working with her, and as he explains, "She does great once she's going, she just can't turn, can't stop, and can't get off or on." So cute! :)