Hubby

My husband is wonderful. He gets the kids ready for school, picks them up, helps them with their homework, feeds them, keeps the cars running, cleans the yard, takes out the trash, shampoos the carpets, and washes dishes. And last night, I came home to a candlelight dinner for 5. He made a wonderful dinner, cleaned the house and gave me the opportunity to have dinner with my babies. I don't get to do that anymore and I miss it. Last night we talked about school, the kids' friends, problems, whatever... And we prayed together as a family. Its been awhile since we've done that too... I love hearing my babies' hearts for Jesus. And I especially love hearing my husband pray. What I blessing he is..

Blessed and Thankful

I'm so glad I went back to work today. I discovered, for one thing, that they have been horibly understaffed because there are a ton of people sick. More importantly was that I was able to reconnect with my residents. One resident came to me early in the night crying because she was so frustrated and ended the night crying in appreciation of what we had accomplished together tonight.
Also, I was able to spend time with my co-workers. All in all they are a great group of women... Tonight we got on the subject of 'been there'. For example, we can empathize with women in pain because we've been there. We may never have been physically abused, but all of us have felt betrayal by someone we've loved... And we may never have lived in a shelter, but we've been destitute at one time or another.
Talking about the things I've been through I was reminded just how blessed I am, just how much I have to be thankful for. Even sick and totally overwhelmed with all the things I'm behind on, I have soooooooo many things to be thankful for. And I feel blessed that I was reminded of it because it changes my whole perspective. I know that my husband would never hit me, but there are other issues that these women struggle with that and... but for the grace of God, go I! I have been at the crossroads of suicide and I've been at the place where I was completely relying on someone else for, well, everything. Those places are dark and they are anything but fun... But they have shaped the relationship that I have with God today. And they've shaped my relationship with my husband and my ability to help other people.
So, strange as it may sound... I remembered tonight just how thankful I am for those times. And, definitely, I'm thankful that I'm not going through them now! :)
I am so blessed, and I'm just thankful for the reminder.

Finally Out of Bed

I am getting ready to go to work for the the first time in a week. I have had a terrible, horrible, no good, bad case of the flu. The stomach flu. I couldn't eat for four days and finally had to go to the doctors to get anti-nausea medicine. Yeah, it was that bad! I had muscle aches and sore joints... Ugh. Anyway, enough of that.

Today I feel much better. I still have very limited energy but I can eat and I'm going to work! I even had enough energy to complete a project that I've been working on and in the process, I had to take some pictures of my babies. I got them dressed up and posed... And out of this photo session comes a picture I need to share with you...

I'd just like to remind everyone that this is my 6 year old. My SIX year old!!! I know I'm her mom and I'm biased, but holy cow, she is gorgeous!! :)

$3.50

I had to get gas today before going to work. I stopped at Loves, our local truck stop, and as I pulled up to the pumps, I couldn't remember what side of the car my gas tank was on. (I have my old car back!!! But that's another post) I figured I'd chance the driver's side and hope for the best. So, leaving my car running, I opened the door and peered out. My radio was still on and I'm sure other motorists could hear KLove playing songs about Jesus. I was right, the gas tank is on that side, and so I turned the car off and walked toward the store. I noticed a white truck sitting at the pump next to mine with a girl about 25 standing next to it. When I came out of the store, this girl approached me and asked me for gas money. She said that she was trying to get home. Here begins the dilemma. I knew that I only had a 10 dollar bill that needed to pay for my dinner... But I also knew that she had likely heard my music and I wanted to be a good example of Jesus here on earth. So, I told her that I didn't have anything... But I was still praying about it. I told God, "If I have any other money in my work bag, I'll give it to her." Digging around, I found $3.50. So, true to my word, I walked over and gave it to her. I explained that I found it in the bottom of my bag and apologized for it not being much. After I left, I didn't feel good about my situation. I was actually stressed because I had given her money. I didn't really believe her story about needing money for gas and I know that our family is really tight on money right now... So I began to pray about it. I felt like I had chosen to give instead of being led to give... And then God reminded me that I can't out-give Him. And then a song came on the radio, "There Will Be a Day". The premise of the song is that one day, there will be no more tears, no fear and no more dealing with the stresses of this life. God made it clear to me that I was doing the right thing and that there will come a day that I won't have to freak out about giving $3.50 to a girl at the gas station. I was gratefully crying listening to the song and feeling peaceful... Regardless of whether Lowell and I ever have a ton of money, or even if we live the rest of our lives just scraping by, God is with us. And He's meeting our needs. And I can be thankful that He is transforming me so that I care more about what someone thinks of "Christians" and of being a representative for Him than I do of what little money I have. Even if her intentions were not pure, I pray that my gift showed her that Christians are generous and if she really was stranded, I hope tonight finds her safely at home.

Only 1 Mouth

It's been so long since I've blogged, I feel like I'm too far behind to catch up... And yet, I'm not exactly what I've done during the past two weeks... :) I'm still going to school and work... And I'm a little overwhelmed. Taking two classes and working full time is a lot of work. Lowell and I discussed it, and he suggested that I finish out this quarter and then next quarter, I only take one class. Unfortunately because of how the school calendar is set up, once I'm signed up for classes, I have to take them or pay for them anyway... So it looks like I'll be doubling up next quarter too. Work is getting easier simply because I've been there about 5 weeks now and I'm getting more and more familiar with my job. Tonight was interesting because it was brought to my attention that someone at work thinks I'm "prickly". I would never, never think to use that term when describing myself. That being said, it is important, I'm learning to examine my behavior and to try to avoid becoming defensive. This is very, very difficult but I know that God's working on teaching me a lesson.
Another lesson that seems to keep presenting itself is learning that I have two ears and one mouth for a reason. :) I really need to practice closing my mouth more. Not because I am saying something that is wrong or hurtful or even inappropriate but because I need to learn to be okay with silence, number one and number two, that I need to practice being a better listener. I was listening to myself tonight and I realized that a lot of the jokes that I make at work are sarcastic and that, maybe, someone didn't understand my intentions. So, I'm going to work on being more attuned to what is coming out of my mouth as well as attempting to limit the amount of talking I do... We'll see how it works! :)

Waiting

There have been some interesting moments in our lives lately... In this season, God is really teaching Lowell and I that He will provide. We aren't always comfortable and we aren't always spoiled, but our needs are always met. There are those days (and even weeks sometimes) when we have everything we could possibly need or want... And then there are days when we need. We really need. And those times can be scary. It is in those moments that I am reminded that all of this is His. Nothing that I have or that I take care of is really mine; I am only meant to be a steward of the gifts I've been given. In addition to this reminder, I believe that God is really stretching Lowell and I in our understanding of what it really means to rely solely on Him; to be destitute except for the goodness and grace of God. Today, we're not destitute, but we are without a second car. Mine is currently on the off ramp to Verrado slightly on fire. Or at least smoldering. It overheated today and it will need to go to the junk yard. That being said, I know that God will provide something else. It is just a scary time because I don't know what He'll provide and I certainly don't know how! So, we are in a waiting period for the next 16 hours or so... And that can be the toughest time of a crisis - the waiting... The wondering and the stressing about if God really will take care of us. "Are you sure He's going to meet our needs? I don't see how He possibly could..." And then, in the future, maybe tomorrow and maybe months down the road, we'll look back on these days and see His hand and see His mercy guiding us through these times. Because He doesn't leave us destitute. And He does meet our needs according to His riches. (And I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure His riches aren't running low like our economy here in the US.) So, tonight we'll wait and we'll work on resting in His peace and remembering that we have His promises to stand on. And tomorrow or sometime in the near future, I'll share with you just how He worked and how He met our needs. Because He will. He always does.

I Hope

On the hiking trip I mentioned below, I took this picture... Looking up at the hill with the sun shining behind this lone cactus, for some reason I was reminded of the cross of Christ standing on the hill. There were three crosses on the hill where our Savior died, but this still seemed reminiscent of that scene. The desert was peaceful - completely quiet and serene. It was just a moment of silent gratitude and remembrance... The price paid was higher than we can ever imagine and the reason is just as incomprehensible. And yet, the story is true. God the Son came down and died a terrible death... All because He loves us. Hard to believe and yet life changing and beautiful. I hope the truth of His sacrifice has changed your life and brought the same peace I experienced that evening into your heart tonight.

Our lives lately

I did something tonight that I haven't done in a while... I laughed until I cried. Why, you ask? Well, it had something to do with beavers, apples and deer poop. Well, mainly it was because of my husband. He's so stinkin' funny. :) There are times when he drives me crazy and times when he makes me weak in the knees... But, when he tries, he can always make me smile. After our laugh fest, I drove to Circle K and got us some ice cream and we sat in the back of the truck in our driveway enjoying the beautiful evening. We talked about pretty much nothing and enjoyed ourselves. These are special days, when I get to spend time with those I love most and take the time to realize how lucky I am!

I've wanted to blog now for awhile but it didn't seem like there was anything big happening.. Anything that was worth sharing with everyone... I also haven't uploaded my photos for quite some time, and now that I've done that, I've been reminded just how much we've been up to.

For example, we found a place nearby where we can go hiking. It is pretty secluded and there is a ton of area to explore. We walked around, looking at footprints and plants and keeping our eyes open for wildlife. We didn't see anything other than a lizard or two even though we brought our binoculars along for the trip. Next time, we're going to go after the monsoon because in the desert with water, of course, comes life.
Nathan had his walking stick and his flashlight that he wears on his head... Silly little one! :) Jillie didn't like walking, she was much more content riding on Daddy's shoulders and viewing life from above. That is unless she had the binoculars... She didn't quite grasp the concept and instead enjoyed using them for a different purpose...

We also decided to send the kids to the charter school after all. It was a very tough decision but, in the end, we made the switch. This was their first week at Odyssey and they are doing well. Nathan's teacher is very strict and I don't know how he's going to do with it... He was doing really well, behaviorally in his class at Bales but now he's been in trouble two days in a row for talking too much in class. I wonder if he simply reacts better to a more lax teaching style. On the other hand, his first grade teacher wasn't strict by any means and he was very talkative there as well. He says that he has made friends at Odyssey and that is why he's talking. I guess its a blessing and a curse. :) Now he just needs to learn the self-control involved with sitting next to friends.

Chloe loves school. She's easy to please and very flexible. We went to the open house held at Odyssesy when we were trying to make our decision and when we first walked into her potential classroom, she walked right up to her teacher and hugged her. Tomorrow she has to take a little lunch bag to school that holds 4 things about her and present it to the class. Tonight as she was choosing the four things she wanted for her bag, she said that she wanted to include her teacher's name because she loves her teacher. :) Isn't that sweet?? :) I'm completely satisfied about Chloe's situation at Odyssey... It is Nathan that I'm worried about. I'm sure it will all come together in time.

Also on the Chloe front, she finally, thanks to Mamoo, got a bicycle of her own! She picked out a green and orange bike. Technically, I suppose its a boys bike, but she likes it. And then she got a very girly purple helmet to go with it. :) And she's been riding it without training wheels. Lowell is working with her, and as he explains, "She does great once she's going, she just can't turn, can't stop, and can't get off or on." So cute! :)

Trust

Without getting into specifics, God is sooooo good!!! We were really blessed today - at a time where things were looking very precarious, God stepped in and BAM blessing fell! Aren't we lucky to have a God who knows our every need and who loves us enough to look out for us!?!? I just wanted to take a quick minute and remind everyone how blessed we are and to encourage you that, if you're struggling, God knows and He is working - whether you see Him or not, He's actively working in your life and wanting you to trust Him. He is trustworthy.

Updates

Ok, its been a week and I am really enjoying my job. There are still a couple aspect of my responsibilities that I'm unclear about exactly how to do them... I've been assured that they will come with time. :) I really like my co-workers and I think it will be a great place to work. One thing that is great - the company is restructuring and so, all of the employees are feeling a little out of sorts. We're all learning together.
The kids have been in school for 2 weeks. Nathan has finally stopped freaking out when he's is left and Chloe has always been fine. However, Lowell and I are not fine. We are really unhappy with this school and are seriously considering enrolling the kids into the charter school as planned. Well, they're already enrolled, they would just start school there at the end of this month. There are pros and cons both ways. But we are really upset about some of the things that are happening here at their school... Nathan is not thrilled about the idea because he finally got settled, but we are thinking that it may be for the best... I'll keep you updated.
I have this week off of school - I just finished Pharmacology and I'm going to start Intro to addiction counseling and Professional Ethics next week. I was blessed by being able to borrow the Ethics books from a girl who already took it. The next few weeks will be a little dicey with getting used to working full time as well as taking two classes instead of only one... Its all about time management, I've been told. We shall see! :) I think its going to be about stress management too! Nows the time for me to start practicing meditating on the Word, for sure! He is the Prince of Peace, after all!!! :)

Work and School

I start work tomorrow. I'm a little nervous and completely excited! :) I am a little nervous about being away from my babies so much but I know that having the extra income is crucial to our survival. And I am completely confident that God has given me this job and so my time will be blessed. My schedule will be Friday through Tuesday from 3 - 11:30. So, I won't be home with the kids get home from school and they'll obviously be asleep when I get home.. The upside is that the kids have a half day on Wednesdays and so, one of my days off, I'll be able to spend a lot of time with them. Also, since I don't leave until 2, I will be able to hang out with them Saturday mornings and go to church with the family on Sundays.
One part of my job will be leading groups with the women who live in the shelter. Lowell loves to tease me by reciting the part of 28 Days (the movie about rehab with Sandra Bullock) "Together we're better, we're better together. Yeah, us!" Anyway, he thinks its funny. I will also be working with the children in the shelter. I'm sure I'll also be helping out with housekeeping, intakes and will have tons of paperwork too.
We didn't go to church today. Neither one of us slept very well... Yesterday we discovered a wildlife preserve about 10 minutes from home and so, today, we're going to go take some water bottles and sandwiches and go hiking around. Lowell said we'd take our Bibles too and we can read a story to the kids and talk about it; our own little version of church. It is a little cooler today, only around 100 degrees. Chloe is sitting next to me, reading Pinkalicious. She has grown in her ability to read sooo fast! She's quite astounding! :) Nathan is reading the Hardy Boys books but still does better when he's reading to either Lowell or I. There are quite a few vocabulary words in those books that he doesn't know and, if left to his own Now that he's understanding and appreciating the story, he really likes these books. I'm impressed with his reading ability too.
I finally found a program that will take Jillian and who has funding assistance available for us so that we don't have to pay for her to go to preschool. In about a week, we start all the application process and she can't hardly wait! I have one more class and then I'll be finished with pharmacology. My next class is Intro to Chemical Dependency Counseling and I'm taking Ethics online so, I'll be taking twice the class load and working too... :) Can't be too busy, can you? Intro to chemical dependency counseling is different from pharmacology because, right now, we've been learning about the physical effects of drugs and how they work in the brain - affecting chemicals and creating addiction. In this next class we're going to be studying different ways to treat addiction and addicts. I'm looking forward to it. In Ethics, we are (obviously) going to study the different ethical issues with being a counselor.
We're continuing to be blessed, again and again... :) I am thankful for all your prayers and letters! Keep em coming! We still haven't really gotten a social network setup here yet... So, I get a little lonely sometimes... Thankfully, my kids are never at a loss of things to do to entertain me. I just adore them, you know... they're amazingly wonderful, precocious and sweet. Blessings all around.

He and I

Blessings

Watching the news tonight my heart is breaking. There are some terrible stories happening here in Phoenix - some that are making nationwide and world wide news... You may have heard about the little 8 year old Lybian girl who was gang raped by 4 boys ages 9 to 13... And her family is disowning her because their culture still supports the idea that rape is the woman's fault. She is currently in the care of CPS.
In the past month, there have also been 5 murder/suicides here in the valley. They have all been families with small children and all have been attributed to financial stressors. It breaks my heart thinking about those small children who lived the last moments of their lives in fear from the people who should be loving them more than anyone else. I can only remind myself that they are currently being rocked and held by their Heavenly Father who will never, never forsake them.
I know that the world is full of people who are hurting. It is my sincere prayer that God will use me to show His love to at least a couple of them so that they can be delivered from their life of hopelessness and into the freedom that comes from letting God be the ruler of their lives... The pain in the world today gives Christians a perfect opportunity to show the love of Christ by being His representatives here on earth. It is our job - our comission - to be loving and to reach these people who are hurting. Lord, open my eyes to hurting people around me and show me ways that I can bring a little love and a little light into their lives. And then when they ask why, I can say "Because Jesus changed my life and poured His love out on me, so I'm sharing some of it with you."
And to all you readers, I'm sending some love your way today too! :) God Bless!

Answered Prayer

Again I'm reminded that God is faithful... I spent the last three days in a terrible state. I had headaches, stomach aches... I was a wreck. I was completely stressed about this job decision. There were a few moments where I could see God's hand working and those times were greatly appreciated. For example, instead of asking me to work fast food, the gas station called me back and said they wanted me as a cashier. Now while that may not seem like a big deal, a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. One of the biggest struggles for me was knowing that I needed to get a job (because we have to have the income) but not wanting to sentence myself to a job that I would hate... (I worked at Subway in college and I hated it...) But I was determined to be faithful and to honor whatever gift of a job that God gave me. So, I viewed the transition to cashier as a gift from Him. The pay was exactly the same and the hours were too, but it wasn't fast food! And they also gave me until today to let them know. The other job, the one at the domestic violence shelter, was supposed to let me know today at the latest whether or not I got the job as a family advocate. So, today I called the New Hope center (the dv shelter) because I needed to let the gas station know my decision... I called at 1pm. They said that they would be calling my references this afternoon and would be able to let me know by 4pm. So, with butterflies in my stomach I waited... 2pm... 2:30... I thought for sure I'd have to wait until the very last minute... And the phone kept ringing and each time I would freak out... And it wasn't them... Until 2:45, I got the call. And, .... I GOT THE JOB!!!! Yipee-i-o!!! I feel soooo blessed and sooooo relieved! :) I know that I've been blessed with a great opportunity and I'm so thankful!!! Thank you for everyone who prayed for us during this search and this terribly stressful weekend. The pressure is off! If all goes well, I should start Friday. :)

Adios Training Wheels

We've had a very exciting development here at the Casa de Trent. Chloe has learned to ride her bike with no training wheels!! I took her last night to the park and she just took off. She really didn't need any help, just a little balance and the reminder to keep her knees in and eyes on where she's going... She's doing amazingly! :)