Tears!

Well, the tears finally came. Unfortunately, it wasn't until after Lowell came home and asked me how my day went. He was already stressed and I didn't want to add my junk to his... But he insisted. And then when I tried to tell him, I started bawling. At least the tears finally came. And I definitely felt better I cried. And after I tried to make amends with Chloe. She always takes the brunt of my anger. I don't understand why... But when I get mad, its almost always aimed at her. And it breaks my heart because she rarely deserves to get in trouble at all... There is no perfection in motherhood. (That's a gross understatment, by the way!) And I'm not a person who deals well with anything other than perfection... Time to get over that one, huh? I really don't understand my anger issues... And I've tried to analyze myself and my issues but I don't feel like I got very far... Instead, I've decided to stop looking outward, stop looking inward and start looking upward. I really need to spend more time in the Word. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you..." Matthew 6:33 My classes start Monday and I'm really praying that I can take some more Bible classes because I get so much enjoyment out of studying the Word in classes... And then I don't have to be internally motivated either because I have external motivation. :)