Saturday, October 31, 2009


The chance arose, recently, for me to share some of my story with a couple of the ladies at work... And for the first time, after I told them some of what happened, I didn't panic. I didn't freak out on the way home and I didn't feel completely stressed the next day. Also, at work there have been a couple of times where I've screwed up. And I've been able to come clean about it and move on - without stressing about needing to be perfect or wondering if I was going to completely disappoint everyone there...
It may not seem like much to you, but to me, these are huge accomplishments! These are signs that God is working within me and that I'm growing! I'm becoming better at controlling my irrational thoughts and worries... And I'm becomming more at peace with who I am. And I'm so thankful! These are things that I've been working on for years... I don't want to sound like I've got it down, check the box, close the file - but I'm getting better. And that's good enough for me!
I feel so humbled each time I see God working in my life. And I'm so very grateful for the knowledge that He's still working on me. Remember the song from when you were a kid in Sunday School? "There really ought to be a sign upon my heart; don't judge me yet, there's an unfinished part. But I'll be perfect, just according to His plans; fashioned by the Master's loving hands. He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars; the sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be - He's still working on me." Funny how much truth can be held in a little children's song...


I found this at and I had to share... :) Too adorable!


Again its been too long. Too much time has passed since I've blogged and I feel overwhelmed at the amount of information I'd like to pass on...
My job is going well. I've begun to feel comfortable in the role that I'm asked to play as Family Advocate. I enjoy working to help these women become more independent and to help their children survive the transition with as little scarring as possible.
On the job front: Lowell very likely is going to be offered a job on Monday! :) We're very excited! Because of this exciting development and also just because he wants to, Lowell's dad will be coming down to stay with us for the winter. He was anxious to get away from the cold Olancha winter and will be very appreciated here as a live-in babysitter. Lowell will be working graveyard shift so he'll have to leave for work before I get home. Chug will be there with the kids and can also possibly help get them ready for school in the mornings. Because Lowell's job is on the far eastern side of Phoenix, we are going to look to relocate. We've been looking anyway at houses... It is very possible that we may buy a house in the very near future... Please be praying about this for us!! Anyway, this new job will pose quite a commute for Lowell from our current location on the far west side of Phoenix. My school and work are pretty centrally located, so I think my commute will stay the same, I'll just be driving westbound on the freeway instead of east.
The kids are good. Nathan presented a social studies project on India last week. Each of the students completed their project and then stood up in front of the class (and the parents who attended) and presented their information. Thankfully, I was able to make it! Nathan's body said that he was nervous, but when I asked him afterwards, he denied it. Irregardless, he did a great job! :) The teacher was very impressed with the quality of their work as well as their oral presentations.
Chloe is going to be singing with her class at the Fall Festival in Buckeye next Friday. I'm completely bummed that I am not going to be able to attend, but Lowell has promised to tape it for me. Her class is going to be hosting the goldfish toss booth as well as the picture booth and they'll be singing "De Colores", a spanish song about colors. Chloe loves school and is thriving. She's so smart and has shown great athletic ability! In PE when they race, Chloe only has one other girl who provides competition. And often, she beats a majority of the boys too! Nathan has even stopped racing her because she beats him every time. :)
Jillian is doing great too. She loves staying home with Daddy because he spoils her rotten. She's also learning a lot - both from us working with her and also from her siblings. She's mastered the concept of "counting on" which is a kindergarten (or higher) level skill. For example, if you're adding 5 and 6, before you've grasped counting on, you'll first count 1,2,3,4,5 and then 6 more. After a child has learned to 'count on' they will start with 5 and then count 6,7,8 etc.. She loves to add and has started grasping subtraction as well. She doesn't have all of her letter sounds down yet so that's what I'd like to work on next.
School, for me, has proven very trying these last couple of weeks. With the potential of moving looming on the horizon and with Chug coming down to stay, there have been a lot of extra projects to accomplish around the house in addition to my already jammed schedule. My homework has definitely suffered. There were a couple of mornings when I honestly should have been doing my homework, however, that I blew it off in exchange for a couple of hours of playing with my babies. And I don't regret it for a moment... That being said, I have decided to only take one class this quarter. With this being holiday season and with Lowell beginning a new job, there are going to be too many transitions for me to be able to do work that I will be proud of. And besides that, if I'm paying all this money for these classes, I'd really like to learn something!! :)
Last week we got a special visit from my friend Britany, her husband Stony and their neice Kizzy. We met at Grand Canyon so that Britty could see all the changes they've made. The kids played on the lawns and we just enjoyed some time together. It was way too short and I forgot to take a picture of us but it was still wonderful to see them! Hard to imagine its been 7 years since I've seen one of my dearest friends... Its another reminder of how important it is to take the time to stay in touch... And that's why I'm blogging now! :)
I appreciate all you bloggers out there - Diggie, Kristin, Moron, Britty, Leeda... I love feeling like we're connected even though hundreds of miles separate us. So thanks for taking the time because I really do love reading about your families. And thanks for stopping in to see what we're up to. We love you each and miss you all!

Thursday, October 15, 2009


My husband is wonderful. He gets the kids ready for school, picks them up, helps them with their homework, feeds them, keeps the cars running, cleans the yard, takes out the trash, shampoos the carpets, and washes dishes. And last night, I came home to a candlelight dinner for 5. He made a wonderful dinner, cleaned the house and gave me the opportunity to have dinner with my babies. I don't get to do that anymore and I miss it. Last night we talked about school, the kids' friends, problems, whatever... And we prayed together as a family. Its been awhile since we've done that too... I love hearing my babies' hearts for Jesus. And I especially love hearing my husband pray. What I blessing he is..

Monday, October 12, 2009

Blessed and Thankful

I'm so glad I went back to work today. I discovered, for one thing, that they have been horibly understaffed because there are a ton of people sick. More importantly was that I was able to reconnect with my residents. One resident came to me early in the night crying because she was so frustrated and ended the night crying in appreciation of what we had accomplished together tonight.
Also, I was able to spend time with my co-workers. All in all they are a great group of women... Tonight we got on the subject of 'been there'. For example, we can empathize with women in pain because we've been there. We may never have been physically abused, but all of us have felt betrayal by someone we've loved... And we may never have lived in a shelter, but we've been destitute at one time or another.
Talking about the things I've been through I was reminded just how blessed I am, just how much I have to be thankful for. Even sick and totally overwhelmed with all the things I'm behind on, I have soooooooo many things to be thankful for. And I feel blessed that I was reminded of it because it changes my whole perspective. I know that my husband would never hit me, but there are other issues that these women struggle with that and... but for the grace of God, go I! I have been at the crossroads of suicide and I've been at the place where I was completely relying on someone else for, well, everything. Those places are dark and they are anything but fun... But they have shaped the relationship that I have with God today. And they've shaped my relationship with my husband and my ability to help other people.
So, strange as it may sound... I remembered tonight just how thankful I am for those times. And, definitely, I'm thankful that I'm not going through them now! :)
I am so blessed, and I'm just thankful for the reminder.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Finally Out of Bed

I am getting ready to go to work for the the first time in a week. I have had a terrible, horrible, no good, bad case of the flu. The stomach flu. I couldn't eat for four days and finally had to go to the doctors to get anti-nausea medicine. Yeah, it was that bad! I had muscle aches and sore joints... Ugh. Anyway, enough of that.

Today I feel much better. I still have very limited energy but I can eat and I'm going to work! I even had enough energy to complete a project that I've been working on and in the process, I had to take some pictures of my babies. I got them dressed up and posed... And out of this photo session comes a picture I need to share with you...
I'd just like to remind everyone that this is my 6 year old. My SIX year old!!! I know I'm her mom and I'm biased, but holy cow, she is gorgeous!! :)