Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas 2008

We did Christmas on Christmas eve because Lowell has to work Christmas day. It was a good day - just the five of us. We did a big dinner, family get together thing on Thanksgiving so it was kind of nice to just have us today. Lowell played with the kids, picking them up, throwing them around, and loving on them... It is so wonderful to see them with their dad. I love how much they adore him - and how much he adores them. I can't begin to count how many times he just marvels at how blessed we are; at how cute they are, how smart they are, and how much he loves spending time with them. Tonight, Nathan broke into tears because he doesn't want Daddy to go to work tomorrow. This isn't the first time he's done this, he really doesn't like to be without his dad. And we don't know how to deal with his sadness. We've explained to him that Daddy has to go, that he misses the kids too... But Nathan's tears are still so poignant and touching. He's a very emotional kid. And very attached to his father. I'm so glad they had today together...
The morning began with the kids sitting in their places and Lowell passed out a present apiece. Then Jillie opened, Chloe opened and then Nathan. I took pictures and videotaped a little. The kids were really happy with what they received. Mamoo got them bubbles, among other things and Lowell and I got the girls a couple of dress up dresses. Before long, the girls were in their dresses blowing bubbles at each other and twirling. :) Auntie Leeda and Uncle "Brad" sent the Mousetrap game and Kung Fu Panda. And they included a very fun present - the bubble wrap! The kids jumped on it until each section made a loud POP! and then we could finally move on to the next presents. :) We played Mousetrap together in the evening (Jillie won) and I am currently writing with Kung Fu Panda in the background. :) Thank you Auntie Leeda and Uncle Brett. Hopefully next Christmas we can be together! :)

The girls got Barbies, the dress-up outfits, a couple of stuffed animals and some other things... Nathan got a big truck, a remote control truck, a dirt bike figurine and a Webkinz bald eagle. My favorite present was a set of magnetic dress-up figures for Chloe with about a hundred different skirts, shirts and outfits for the little dolls. Mamoo also got the kids coloring books and crayons. Gramma Who and Grandpa got the kids a VSmile game and controller and UNO Attack. (Lowell and I had fun with Uno attack in the afternoon! :)) Gramma GG got them some great books including a cook book especially for cooking together with the kids. And Gramma Hippo got adorable clothes, Legos and some babies. My kids all love art! The big present this year was an easel. Lowell had a ton of fun assembling it, of course, while I fixed breakfast. The rest of the day was filled with relaxation and lots of fun.
I read "Small One" to the kids at bedtime. If you haven't read it, its the story of an old donkey and a little boy who loves him and yet has to give him up. I was choking on tears reading it because I was ridiculously emotional. But, in all reality, what do I have to be sad about? I'm loved by the creator of the earth. I'm blessed with three beautiful, healthy children and a husband who loves me. I'm hoping to spend Christmas day scrapbooking the real meaning of the day... Christmas is the birthday of Jesus - the day that the Son of God came to earth as a man. He chose to leave heaven and come down to this place - this world of sin, anger, hate, violence, pain and disappointment. And not only that, He chose to live among us and endure the same life that we do each day. Christ lived in a world that hated Him. And He came as a helpless infant on Christmas morning 2000 years ago to begin a journey that would eventually lead Him to the cross. Aren't we lucky?
The kids got a ton of toys. And they did such a good job. They were so thankful - they gave hugs and hours later, they were still saying 'thank you'. They were patient and they shared. Well, for the most part. :) I'm so blessed. I have kids who are thoughtful and realize that its not all about them... I think I've got the three best Christmas presents ever! :) I hope your Christmas is as blessed as mine!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Wintery Weather

It has been snowing outside non-stop since about noon today. We already had about an inch on the ground from last night. The wind is picking up and my front yard is turning into a winter wonderland. Its been a quiet Sunday - just the kids and I. Lowell had to take my car to work today so we've been without a vehicle although I doubt we would've been able to get out in the snow without chains anyway. The kids have spent most of the day playing and watching a few cartoons while I have spent the vast majority of the day working on Lowell's christmas present. The kids have helped a little but I still have a long way to go! :) At least if it's not done by Christmas, Lowell works the 25th and 26th, and his birthday is the 28th. :) So I have a little leeway. Since Lowell reads my blog I won't go into detail now... But I'll be sure to share photos and his reaction after he gets it!

Chloe had her very first sleepover night before last! She went to Samantha's house (just a mile or so up the road) and had a great time! She didn't miss us at all until mid morning Saturday. She is the first one of the kids to sleep over without the other two. And she's the one who I knew wouldn't have a problem. :) She's definitely got a mind of her own. There is a girl at school, for example who has taken to Chloe but who she isn't very fond of. A few days ago at breakfast, this girl came up and asked Chloe if she could sit by her. Chloe said "No". And that was that. :) I'm proud of her... Samantha was supposed to come here and spend the night last night but her parents got stuck in the snow down the hill after going shopping and never made it home until late.

Oh, news! I got a new camera yesterday! I'm still not sure completely how to use it because it does so much... My other camera finally died.. And I was devastated about going through the Christmas season without my camera. Lowell has been saying that he's going to buy me the camera that I want for my birthday but it's too expensive for right now. So I got a little cheap camera to carry around in my purse for the interim! I love new toys! So, I'm going to try to take some snow pix and load them here... We'll see how it works! :)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Early New Year's Resolutions

So I just spent my afternoon watching the first two High School Musicals the first one while I walked/ran on the treadmill (Yeah me!!!) and the second while I worked on Nathan's homework assignment - helping him make a wreath. The movies reminded me that I really had the perfect high school experience. I was popular, I was friends with a ton of people; I was good at school - studying came easy; I was co-captain of the cheerleading squad; I had an older boyfriend who spoiled me silly; and I was a bona-fide beauty queen! I mean, what more could you ask for? And I miss those days. I miss the ease and all the fun. Responsibility sure puts a damper on things, doesn't it? I've been noticing that I need to take more joy in the life I have now instead of comparing it to "before" and to the lives of others. I have so much to be thankful for. But still I'm discontent. Isn't that how it always is? At least that's how I am - selfish. I struggle against my selfish nature because it really dampens my joy. I've heard that the first step to discontentment is comparison... Well I love to compare. I love to see how my life compares to other peoples; how my kids compare and even how my body compare with other peoples. I'm sure I've mentioned how Lowell and I "show" each other how the other one looks. Anyway, I know it's early, but I already know what my New Year's resolution will be - I'm going to stop comparing my life both to the lives of others and to 'what used to be'. It's going to be a big challenge so I'm starting early. First I'm going to just start being aware of how frequently I compare and what situations led me to comparison so that I can begin to get an idea of how big a monster I have to tackle! :)
I've identified a lot of behaviors that contribute to my comparing problem. One is that I am very detail orientated instead of being long-term, whole issue focused. For example, when there is a mistake made, I just see the mistake, I don't see the whole picture. I'm definitely too much of a perfectionist. Also, I never quit thinking and analysing things. I really need to get my head to shut up - or at least to start thinking about other things. So, I'm going to try to identify when my head is just meaninglessly wandering and getting into trouble and either start reciting scripture to myself over and over or I'm going to sing worship songs. So, that's the to-do list. I'd better get started! :)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Another personal revelation

So I realized today after some serious personal reflection that I want to be fat. Notice I didn't say that I like being fat - I just want to remain fat. Why on earth, do you ask... Well, because I know me as the fat girl and it is the crutch that I use. I'm not happy with myself and I'm not happy with where I am as an individual - I can blame all of that on me being fat. I can use it to explain my insecurities, my laziness, my less than stellar preformance as a mother, my anxiety, my hesitancy to go after the things that I want in life.... A lot hinges on me being fat. And if I wasn't fat, I wouldn't have that to fall back on. I wouldn't have an excuse... And that terrifies me. So, I really want to be thin - I want to be healthy and attractive. But at the same time, I'm more safe when I'm overweight. Make sense? So I'm working against myself. I so desperately want to lose the weight but I also sabaouge myself in order to keep myself safe. So, in addition to working on exercising more, I need to work on developing my confidence based on things other than my appearance. Time to start working on that...