Thursday, October 9, 2008

Autumn in Calaveras County

Our family is heading into a potentially very stressful time. On one hand, Lowell will be making more money and we'll be more financially stable. In order to accomplish this however, requires that he work a lot of overtime. Being home alone with three kids day after day can be very difficult - especially when cabin fever starts to set in. The kids really miss their daddy when he's gone and likewise, he misses them. Their relationships with their dad are so precious; they adore him. I'm very lucky to have a man in my life who is such a good father.
At the same time, our living situation is changing a little. For the sake of family privacy, I don't want to go into too much detail but I'm definitely nervous about it. On the other hand, I've been struggling with accepting myself. I need to get where I can be confident and at peace with myself regardless of the opinions or comments of those around me. I need to stop craving the acceptance and validation of others so desperately. This new wrinkle in our life is one that will either cause me a lot of grief or will teach me to get over my need to please. Maybe this will accomplish both. :) I'm praying that I will remain close to Christ so that I can tap into His strength to get through this latest challenge.
I've also been approached with the opportunity to counsel a family on the verge of separation. While it seems to be an awesome chance to help someone, I'm also terrified. I don't know that I'm capable of counseling. The family is very aware of my limited schooling and that I'm not licensed yet. I've researched the ethical concerns and, legally, so long as they are aware of my credentials and I'm not advertising myself as a licensed counselor, there isn't anything wrong with it. On the other hand, I believe that counseling carries a huge responsibility and I don't know that it is personally ethical for me to carry that responsibility without being fully trained. On the other hand, these people want me to help them. I've been praying for an opportunity to use my passion and I'm fully willing to admit when I'm in over my head. With all that said, I'm still terrified. I haven't commited to the job yet and I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
What I have been doing is working in the school quite a bit. My volunteering has kind of taken on a life of its own. I'm in Nathan's class Monday, Tuesday and Friday. Chloe's class on every other Thursday, Jillie's on the other Thursdays and Wednesdays I kind of get a day off. I say kind of because I'm available for whatever I'm needed to do. For example, I've helped in the library and I've stayed extra days in the classrooms. When I'm not in school, I'm cleaning my house, reading, hanging out with friends, or catching up on some projects. I'm scrapbooking a little bit and trying to get more into card making. I'm working on a Christmas present for Nathan's and Chloe's teachers. I can't give presents to Jillie's teachers, its forbidden by the state. Obnoxious, I know. Welcome to California.
Our moving to Arizona is looking like it will be summer. On one hand I'm bummed because I can't wait to be on our own. I can't wait for us to be independent. On the other hand, I'm going to miss our friends. And Lowell has a lot of work to do here at the house before we leave. It would be very stressful for him to try to accomplish all that he needs to before December. Also, I really like the school the kids are in and I would hate to go through the stress of finding a new one and moving them in the middle of the year. There are many things about our life here that I really enjoy but I know that God wants us to be in Arizona. Some days I just get bummed about missing everyone...

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