Saturday, July 4, 2009


Why am I always tired? I'm exhausted from the time I wake up in the morning until bedtime again. Oprah had a mom's confession show on Friday... If I had been on there, this would have been my confession. I take naps. I let my kids play and get themselves something to eat, I let them make messes... All while I sleep. I am just so tired. And when I'm up, when I'm doing things, I don't really feel tired but the instant that I sit.. If I sit for just a couple of minutes, my eyes get heavy and my shoulders droop. If I lay down, I go to sleep.

I've tried going to the doctors. She did a full battery of tests and found that everything was perfectly normal. Then she asked the obvious question - am I depressed. The answer is no. But I have been questionning if this problem is psychological. My doctor also wanted to do a sleep study, where I go and sleep under supervision to see if I have sleep apnea or some other disorder. I don't think I suffer from sleep apnea. I know there is something wrong though for sure. I have nightmares frequently and I wonder if they play a role in my not feeling rested. I wonder sometimes if I'm just plain lazy, but I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I'm lazy enough to sleep. And sleep. And sleep. Even when I sleep 7 or 8 hours a night, I could go right back to sleep. I could sleep 24 hours and then sleep 20 more. There are some days that I feel good; I'm able to get things done and even sit without falling asleep instantly... But those days are not very frequent. Certainly not as frequent as I'd like them to be. Needless to say, I need to get this issue fixed. I need to find some way to feel better. Its my prayer that I can figure this out. And soon. Until then, I have been trying to get on board with the idea of giving up sugar completely because I think this might help... If it doesn't, at least it will help with losing weight. For now, I'm just thankful for the ways I've learned to deal with it.

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