I supposed its about time to blog about whats been going on in our lives for the past 3 months. I don't think there's anyone that I'm hiding from anymore so, here goes. I'm pregnant.
Yep. That's right. Baby #4. Holy crap. This was completely unplanned and was even being prevented when it happened so, I believe we're working on God's agenda instead of our own. When we found out, we were a little more than shocked and unprepared. We have long believed that our family was complete and we were both very happy with our three little minions. This new baby brought so much uncertainty to our lives and completely interrupted the "plan" that we had for the next couple years of our lives.
I was in the middle of beginning to look for a practicum site, I was finishing up my classes and getting ready to move on with my career. How would a baby affect that?
Our other children are all self-sufficient and all go to school. They have chores, they help out around the house and they can feed, dress and clean up after themselves... And my house is still quite a mess. How are we going to manage with an infant?
We have school-aged kids - we got rid of all of our baby stuff a LONG time ago... Where are we going to get money for all the "baby stuff" that we will need?
We LOVE our little family - just as it is... How will having another child affect our family? Will our kids feel neglected or resent that they have to share even more of the time and resources of the family?
Speaking of resources, we were just getting to the point of being able to go on vacations, getting ready to buy a house, paying off our car... How is this going to affect us financially?
Speaking of car, 6 people don't fit in a normal car. Do I really have to get a minivan? And how in the heck are we going to afford that?!!
And then there's the emotional adjustment... This isn't what I wanted, God. What are You doing? Are You sure this is the right thing at the right time!??!!
How much independence am I going to have to give up because I'm going back into the infant stages... Feedings in the middle of the night, carrying the car seat...
And what about working? How are we going to manage both of us working and having a baby??
Then there's the physical considerations.. The last time I was pregnant - the doctor told me not to get pregnant again because of my high-risk pregnancy. And now, here I am, going through it again...
The confirmation that we were, indeed, pregnant hit my husband very hard. There were many, many heated discussions followed by a couple months of silence.... We're still not really talking about it - at least not to each other. The kids know and they like the idea. I'm at the stage where its just starting to be evident to others when the baby kicks and moves. The kids really like it when they can see or feel the movements.
We learned on the 19th that we're having a boy. The kids are very excited - everyone wanted a boy! Nathan is thrilled that he'll have an ally finally!
We're definitely on a roller-coaster as we get closer to this newest arrival to our family. It is my hope and my prayer that we can celebrate this baby every bit as much as we did the other three... I'm leaving that in God's hands and trying to be patient as He works on both Lowell and I.