"Mom, I'm angry at you." She told me the other night that she feels like she needs to apologize - she feels like she needs to be sorry for being angry at me and I said, "No, Honey, no! You came to me and told me, 'Mom, I'm angry. I don't like what you told me to do, but I'm going to do it anyway.' Thats exactly what I want you to do!!"
I welcome and I applaud the times that they are willing to share their heart with me, the times they are vulnerable with me, to be transparent... They are willing to have a heart that is self-controlled enough to express their anger, to express their feelings and still be obedient. That is such a blessing.
Those are the spirits that I am trying to cultivate - that I am praying for my children to grow up with. Children that are not ashamed of their feelings, not afraid to experience the emotions that God has given them.
But at the same time, to have the power over those feelings that we are commanded to have. To be able to capture their thoughts and to be able to realize that sometimes what they feel is simply not true. Sometimes when they feel alone or when they feel like no one likes us or they feel like somethings not fair - They need to realize that sometimes, its simply not true. Instead of being truthful, it may either be their sinful heart or Satan whispering in their ear...
It doesn't make our feelings wrong.
I want my babies to learn early the power that they have over those feelings. over their thoughts, over what they choose to believe about life, about their family, about God, about themselves.. And I am sooo thankful that I am witnessing progress. That God is giving me a little glimpse into what is going on in their hearts. Apparently, something is going right!
All I can do is pray for continued mercy that things keep going right. That I keep making the right choices and leading my children in the right path.. And that maybe I can learn some of this self-control as I'm teaching and leading them.