Today I was talking to a friend on the phone and she was worried that I was talking and driving at the same time. I made the comment, "I'm already home." And that got me thinking... Home is an interesting word. It can mean a physical building, it can mean a feeling of well-being, of safety and security, or it can be something else entirely. To some people, there is a town that will always feel like home, or a country or an area... To others, there is a specific building that conjures up all the feelings associated with "home". For me, there is a place that seems like home, an area, and a group of people, but the over-riding sense of home for me comes from one special person. Wherever Lowell is, that's home. Wherever we move, Angels Camp, Jackson, California, Arizona, whether we live in a house or apartment, my home is with Lowell.
And I feel so blessed that God has given me this safe place to fall, this place of stability and peace, of trust and encouragement. Lowell is not perfect, but I choose not to focus on the imperfect, but instead on the intention. A couple years ago, Lowell dedicated a song to me. The story told in the song is that of a man who feels he needs to improve in various areas of his life and that this woman gives him the strength to keep trying. There is one line though, that is particularly special to me. It says, "For all the things I've failed to do, I've never failed at loving you." Lowell hasn't been the "perfect" husband (and Lord knows, I am FAR from the perfect wife) but through it all, he has never stopped loving me. By his own admission, he has never questioned his decision to marry me, to be the father of our children... He doesn't regret any of the time that we've spent together and says that, in fact, he loves that I'm his wife and still loves spending time with me and looks forward to our future together.
This picture was taken during our weekend in Tucson. It wasn't a pleasant reason to take a trip, but I am so thankful that we went away together. We bonded, we shared and talked and got closer than we've been in awhile. We laughed and played like teenagers. We went to dinner, we played at an arcade and we talked about our life together - our future, our priorities, where we wanted our family to go in the future and how we planned on getting there. We thoroughly enjoyed the 24 hours that we spent together. I have always been thankful for my husband but this trip reminded me of how blessed I am by him. He has definitely never failed at loving me. And he has taught me all about "home" - feeling safe and warm and welcome and loved. He has taught me to trust and shown me how to lighten up and have fun... Wherever he is, that's home to me. And there's no other way I'd want it to be.