Sunday, March 22, 2009

I Surrender

I have been very hesitant to post in the past couple of days... the major reason for this is that we've had a very unnerving development lately... I keep telling everyone that we're "living on faith". I was saying it in almost a superior way because I felt good that I was able to take this big step of faith.. And I was kind of encouraging other people to do it too.. At least that's what I thought. And then Lowell came home from work Friday. I had spoken to him earlier in the day and all had seemed fine. However, apparently around 3 (a few minutes before they left for the day) Lowell's boss had called him into his office and informed him that he was fired. Yep, you read that right. Lowell got fired. He has never been fired before and his boss didn't give him any reason other than "It's just not working out for you here". That was the extent of it. And then he starting acting like Lowell's best friend. I didn't believe him when he came home and told me that he had been let go. I was sooo shocked and, honestly, a little speechless. And a little panicked. Lowell kept saying that he felt at peace about it. And honestly, when we talked about it, the worst that could come of it would be that we would move to Phoenix a little sooner than we planned. The only downside to that would be that we wouldn't wait until the kids got out of school... But maybe this timing is perfect for a job opportunity.
For school this week, I have to write a paper about James so I've been reading it this week. Lo and behold, I come across a devotion about 5:12. This verse says, in part, Let your yes be yes, and your no be no, so that you may not sin and fall under condemnation." I had never interpreted it this way, but the devotion says "indecision and double-mindedness not only bring confusion and complication, but they also cause condemnation" (Joyce Meyers Everyday Bible) It also says "Start making decisions without worrying about them. Do not live in fear of being wrong. Once you do make a decision, do not let self-doubt torment you. Being double-minded and never deciding anything is complicated and will steal the enjoyment from everything you do." So, that got me thinking along the same line as I was blogging earlier, we should make the decision that seems right and just go with it. And, earthly wisdom says, 'freak out', but I'm not operating with only earthly wisdom to guide me, am I? I have a much higher power to follow, and I believe He wants me to "Be still and know that He is God". And that He's a whole lot bigger than a lost job or simple fear. So, I am here, being confident in my husband, and confident in my God. We are going to be fine. This life is not about me, anyway - "Its all about You, Jesus, and all this if for You - for Your glory and Your fame... And I surrender to Your ways."


The Northrups said...

Awesome. And encouraging.

theKband said...

Oh wow. Keep us posted.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you all! Love you, ~Rachel~