Its getting closer.... I am 6 months and 3 weeks today. I hear a lot of comments from the girls at work that my pregnancy seems to be just flying by. I have a somewhat different perspective. I can't believe it was only 4 months ago that I found out!!! It truly seems like I've been pregnant for at least a year. That being said, a lot has changed in the past 4 months. For one, I've lost 25 pounds. Yep, lost - not gained. I currently weigh 25 pounds less than I did the day I found out I was expecting. I'm not 100% sure how that works because I didn't really have morning sickness with this pregnancy... I'm just not hungry. Ever. And on those rare occasions when my tummy rumbles, I take about 3 bites of something and I'm full. Weird, I know and I would really like to bottle whatever is causing this for after the baby's born!
Another circumstance that is very different from 4 months ago is that Lowell is much more at peace with the baby. He said this morning that he might even be a little excited... :) The kids are excited, for sure. And my co-workers can't wait for me to bring him to work with me. I have the best boss in the world who wants me to bring him in once a week or so so that I can still have Mommy time. I am so blessed.
Yet another change is that I'm not doing my practicum right now. I just can't. I've been applying for other jobs - and I've gotten 4 or 5 offers for interviews, but each time it just didn't seem like the right job or the right situation, and now its too close to the baby - I can't afford to lose my health insurance. So, I'm staying where I am for now and putting off my practicum. It is a little discouraging because I worked so hard to finish my program early so that I could graduate and move on, and now I'm only postponing things further. I have to keep reminding myself that God has a plan that is above and superior to mine, I just need to be obedient and patient and thankful.
Another big change comes in the form of my attitude. I've been working on my own feelings about this baby and God has shown repeatedly how faithful He is and how He has everything worked out - I just need to be patient and obedient. I have struggled with how I can continue on with our original plan and still have this baby, but I've realized that plan A needs to be scrapped because that's not the agenda anymore. I am having a baby and I can't change jobs right now. I can't work 60 hours a week without complicating my pregnancy and I also can't dedicate that much time to my job when I have a newborn. On the other hand, this new plan may allow me to be more involved in the other kids' school and also be more effective at home.
I still don't know what the plan is - and, I guess the biggest change of all is that I'm learning to be okay with that.