Wednesday, February 3, 2010
There are some days that I question the field that I've decided to enter... I can't even begin to count the days that I've had to blink back tears when I've watched a little baby suffer... The moms that I work with are so angry, so unprepared to be mothers, and so selfish... Their children are usually ignored, frequently yelled and screamed at, and sometimes physically abused. My heart breaks.. I want to save them; take them home and love on them; show them that the world is not cruel and harsh... And that they are important and lovable. And I k now that I can't come to work everyday for the rest of my employment future and have my heart wrenched like this. This only confirms more strongly that I want to work with adults. I don't want to watch children suffer anymore... Maybe I'm just weak, but hearing the cries and not being able to do anything about it makes me sick to my stomach. Part of me wonders if I am avoiding. Maybe I just want to bury my head in the sand and pretend that it doesn't exist... But I know that there are babies suffering and hurting. I know it but I don't want to willfully spend each day watching it happen. That's reasonable, isn't it? My heart breaks for these kids and so I want to help parents be better parents, help couples work on their relationship before they decide to have kids, help people in general develop healthy boundaries and respectful attitudes... And maybe, in doing these things, I'll help the kiddies... Because they need it.
at 2:30 AM